Working with Doubt: How to Move Through Life’s Uncertainty
Doubt is an inherent part of life, and it often shows up when we’re facing uncertainty or change. Whether we’re questioning our abilities, decisions, or direction in life, doubt can feel like a familiar friend. For many of my clients, this kind of doubt can feel paralyzing, especially when it comes to navigating difficult life choices, relationships, or personal growth.
But what if doubt didn’t have to stop you? What if, instead of fighting it or waiting for it to disappear, you could work with it? What some of my clients have noticed is you can start to shift how you relate to doubt, and in turn, begin to move forward without needing certainty or the perfect answers.
The Struggle with Doubt in Our Lives
Doubt is something that most of us are familiar with. It can show up in many forms and create a sense of hesitation, making it difficult to take the steps needed to move forward. For example, a person who’s been struggling with a difficult relationship may start to doubt whether it’s worth the effort to repair things or even whether they deserve a healthy relationship. The cycle of doubt can leave us paralyzed, unsure of how to act, or fearful of making the wrong choice.
Mindfulness and Acceptance: Shifting How We Relate to Doubt
Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offer us tools for working with doubt, not by pushing it away or trying to eliminate it, but by changing how we relate to it. With mindfulness, we learn to observe our doubts, without judgment, so we can experience them without getting caught up in them. We learn to notice when it arises and let it pass, without it having to stop us in our tracks.
ACT takes this a step further by encouraging us to accept doubt as part of being human. It’s not about getting rid of doubt, but learning to live with it. ACT teaches us that we can take meaningful action even when we don’t feel confident. We can move forward by aligning our actions with our core values rather than trying to get rid of the discomfort of doubt.
This shift is powerful. It allows us to move through life’s uncertainty without needing everything to be perfect. We begin to see that it’s okay to feel doubt. It doesn’t have to stop us or shake our confidence in ourself. We can keep moving forward, even when the path feels unclear.
Worry and Indecision: The Paralysis of Doubt
Worry and indecision are often the result of doubt. When we’re consumed by worry, we can’t focus on anything else. We get stuck in a loop of “what ifs”. This kind of worry often makes us feel like we need to predict and control every possible outcome before we can move forward. But the more we try to control or overthink, the more paralyzed we become.
Indecision often follows in the wake of worry. We become so concerned with making the “right” choice that we become stuck, unable to decide or take action at all. We get caught up in wanting certainty before we can make a move. But here’s the truth: certainty is never possible. As Pema Chodran says, "nothing is what we thought," and waiting for doubt to disappear before taking action will often leave us stuck.
When my clients learn to recognize worry and indecision as part of the human experience, they are less likely to let these emotions paralyze them. Instead, they can acknowledge the discomfort of not knowing and take steps toward what matters, even if doubt is still present.
Moving Beyond Thought: Experiencing Life Beyond Doubt
A major source of doubt today is an over-reliance on our thinking. When we become overly attached to our thoughts, we often confuse them with reality. The mind is an incredible tool, but when it’s constantly running and processing, it can obscure the clarity we need to make decisions or experience the world as it truly is.
A helpful analogy is that “a thought about your mom isn’t your mom. It’s just a thought.” Similarly, our thoughts about ourselves or the world are not the totality of our experiences. At best, thoughts are an approximation of reality, not reality itself. When we learn to step back and observe our thoughts without becoming entangled in them, we can gain a deeper understanding of the present moment and how we relate to it.
This is why I love Experiential Therapy. It emphasizes the importance of experiencing the topic at hand, not just intellectually understanding it. I see this a lot when exploring self-compassion with clients. It’s easy to understand that being compassionate toward ourselves is beneficial, but if we stop there without having the felt-sense of it, it remains an intellectual exercise rather than a lived experience.
How Mindfulness and Acceptance Help You Move Forward
In therapy, mindfulness and ACT help clients reframe how they approach doubt. Rather than allowing it to hold them back or drive them into avoidance, these approaches provide a framework for moving forward with clarity and commitment. Mindfulness teaches us to accept the presence of doubt, but not to let it dictate our lives. ACT encourages us to take committed action based on our values, even when uncertainty is in the mix. This approach leads to greater freedom, resilience, and a deeper sense of self-trust.